STOP: PLEASE READ CAREFULLY
Affairs Dating is NOT a dating site
As explained in our terms and conditions, Affairs Dating is an advice site to give people an opportunity not to embark on searching for an affair.
We have worked with leading relationship experts to provide suggestions before you
make a decision you later may regret. We are keeping the advice simple just 7 topics.
Topics
- Not all affair sites are genuine
- Is your current relationship lacking excitement?
- Do you have young children?
- Are you looking for revenge?
- Is this a midlife crisis?
- Are you stressed?
- Are you a sex addict?
Not all affair sites are genuine
''Most dating sites have more men than women and this imbalance is even greater for affairs sites.
Men are more likely to cheat. This means there are very few women on affairs sites and companies
'fiddle' their stats by keeping hold of female accounts for years and erasing men, or comparing
women who have free accounts vs. men with paid accounts. The likelihood of a man finding an
affair partner on an affair site can be very minimal. Why would you risk getting caught using
a site that you will never get a date? You could well be cheated on by your chosen dating site!''
David is a leading expert in niche dating products and services.
davidminns.com
Is your current relationship lacking excitement?
''When we first meet someone they're exciting, mysterious, and new! We fall into 'passionate love', which is fueled by hormones and neurotransmitters. Over time passionate love ALWAYS wanes, and that exciting fun person becomes stable, secure, and possibly a bit boring! If we're compatible, another type of love begins to develop 'companionate love'. This is the love that keeps couples together in the long term. If the excitement in your relationship has waned, it's possible that you still love your partner but in a different less jazzy way than before. The sex becomes less spicy, your routine becomes predictable, and you mistakenly feel you know their every thought and behavior. You might begin to think: 'Is this it?'.
What if I told you that passionate love can be reignited? Instead of turning away from your partner, you could choose to turn towards them. No matter how exciting a person is at first, no matter how sexy they are, if you're in a long-term relationship, you might get bored. This is an opportunity for growth, not a sign to look elsewhere. The key to reigniting the excitement in your relationship is to do things differently. Shake up your routine, discuss different ways to explore your sexuality, ask new questions, and STOP assuming you know every thought in their head. Instead of dating someone else, date the person you married, put in the effort you did at the start, and communicate your desire to increase the excitement in your relationship.''
Abi a dating/releationship expert certified with the ICF
abiblears.com
Do you have young children?
''Parents are primary attachment figures for their children. This means that children learn how to form meaningful relationships with others based on how they learn to interact with their parents, and also by modelling (copying) the behaviours that they have observed in their parents. Studies show that this is true for both mothers and fathers. The behaviour that you model for your children will have a profound impact upon their development.
Children are often more perceptive than adults give credit for. They are constantly scanning and interpreting their environment in an effort to make sense of the world, and they will often pick up on 'secrets' between adults. Have you ever had your child say something and you’ve thought 'how on earth do they know that'?
Before you have an affair, think about the potential impact that the discovery of it would have upon your children. Consider the risk of loss of trust and respect, perhaps a normalisation of lying or sneaking. Remember how valuable and important you are as a role model and use that power to help, not hurt, your children. ''
Are you looking for revenge?
''I get it. You’ve been wronged or imagine you’ve been wronged. You didn’t deserve it. And your partner doesn’t deserve their happiness. And so you find yourself contemplating revenge in overly elaborate ways. Once they hurt like they hurt you, everything will be evened out and fixed, right? Wrong.
Revenge just aggravates and re-opens your old emotional wounds. While you think you want to punish them, you’re just punishing yourself because you’re not giving yourself time to heal.
I know it may feel good and like cosmic justice imaging it, but it’s time-consuming. There are much better ways to use that energy.
Be honest and understanding about your feelings. Knowing why you feel the way you do is the first step to assuaging the hurt.
“The best revenge is massive success.” –Frank Sinatra.
When you are feeling these thoughts, it’s better to channel them healthily. Work out, write, dance, or hit some therapy!
As you focus on positively directing your energy, you let the natural healing effect of time take place.
And remember….. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional!''
Hunt is an award winning dating & relationship expert and TV personality.
huntforadvice.com
Is this a midlife crisis?
''Psychological theory (framed by Erik Eriksen) suggests that as we approach our forties, we begin to evaluate and question our place in the world through the prism of what we believe we have achieved socially, professionally, perhaps economically and in terms of our influence on those around us. As a result of this, dissatisfaction may arise in respect of close relationships, most notably involving a spouse or long-term partner; which can lead to venturing outside of those established boundaries.
In the hope or expectation of moving away from self-perceived failure or inadequacy, so-called midlife crisis may result and with it, self-absorbed pursuit of the pleasures of youth; usually involving casting off of existing responsibilities in both asserting sexual desirability and expressions of vitality - including fashionable attire and potentially reckless spending. In light of this internal pressure to reclaim youth, it is therefore not surprising that casual affairs may fulfil these immediate drives; although in doing so, also create a host of interpersonal and long-lasting wider consequences.
Is the grass always greener on the other side?''
Are you stressed?
''Marriage is initially like a diamond, sparkly and beautiful and precious. But over time, stress can build and build like dirt, until it buries the diamond so that you can no longer see it, and may even forget that it was ever there. The stresses of everyday life can be both insidious and toxic to a relationship. Paying the bills, childcare, cooking, dealing with difficult family members. These can weigh us down and distract us from seeing the beauty that still exists. Finding ways to manage and alleviate stress is vital. Finding ways to support each other as a team and to reduce the stress together, whatever that may look like, is a win! An affair is a brief distraction that ultimately serves to bury the diamond further. I encourage you to rediscover the diamond that you already have.''
Are you a sex addict?
''Sex addiction (also known as hypersexuality) has psychological routes, and is thought to be linked to depression, anxiety and even shame about sexuality and negative feelings about sex in general. Like any addiction, it can be uncomfortable and lead to feelings of guilt and shame. It can take up so much real estate in your brain that there’s little room to think about anything else and this can lead to neglecting other life goals such as career, friendships and family relationships. Like any addiction, it can turn you into someone that you don’t want to become – someone who tells lies or steals or neglects the things they value. In other words, sex addiction can make its addicts miserable! But there is good news – in the same way that gambling is treatable, so is sex addiction. There are many therapists versed in addictions who can help you understand the root cause of your addictive behaviour and get relief from it. Not only will your sex addiction cease, your overall quality of life will improve.''
